XwolfkingXD

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As I mentioned in the intro to the left, I've been out of the closet since 2016, but as what?

Well, originally me coming out of the closet was a case of me acknowledging that I didn’t quite feel like a guy. The term I had found to describe myself was “Androgynous”, something not quite man or woman, but something in between. In hindsight, this truly dates back to when I was only a few years old, dressing up in girls' clothing even as a little “boy” (Bless my grandma for this).

It wasn’t long after that I realized I was also into men, well, only very specific men, to be honest. Hence, when I found the term Omnisexual, it’s what I started using to describe my sexuality.

Years later, I’ve changed to identifying as Genderfluid, or Genderflux in specific, and I now primarily use they/them pronouns, though I also quite love it when people alternate between they, he, and she when talking about/to me.

And of course, I changed my name to Kalan/Kayla back in 2020.

I have a long history of names and aliases, and thus recently, I came up with a new way to identify myself:

Kalan Roy King, the Twilight Wolf King, Queen of Fear, Ruler of Hope's Last Light, the White Shadow, Heir of Dragons Blood, Chaosborn of Purple and Blue, Alpha of the Den, Keeper of Keys and Mirrors, Seeker of Love and Secrets, Bearer of Names and Masks, the Lone Chronicler, Guardian of the Old Woods, Walker of the Hidden Path, Uneerie Voice of Reason, Touched by Mystery Divine, Forged of Rage and Radiance, Beast of the Sun and Moon, Wanderer Under the Stars, Beckoner of the Void, and Reminiscer of the Lost.

Kalan Roy King: Roy was my temporary chosen name back in 2019, and Kalan (or Kalan Roy) has been my chosen name since late 2020 at the suggestion of my then-best friend, Cyrus. Its meaning ties into later titles.

The Twilight Wolf King: Wolf King is a name I picked when I was 11, and still find myself in. It's also where the name Roy originally came from, "Roy 'Wolf' King". Since I was young, I have had a deep love for sunrise and especially sunset; in my teens, I often fawned over going out during twilight. I later had an alt account named Twilight Wolf, which has led me to now include it properly for the first time.

Queen of Fear: I have always had an interest in fear, or lack thereof. I have a complicated relationship with fear. I first used the username KingOfFear as an anonymous user, but it felt fitting to include now in some way. It ties back to my days as a big fan of Teen Wolf, Divergent, and Shadowhunters, and to a lesser extent also The Vampire Diaries, The Maze Runner, and The Hunger Games. I changed it to Queen of Fear to accommodate a more balanced gender perspective, in line with my own identity.

Ruler of Hope's Last Light: The inspiration for the name in theoretically simple, DC's Blue Lantern Corps, but underneath lies an internal dichotomy. I am often known as a hopeful person, helping those around me to keep their eyes on hope in the future, but I have long lacked the ability to see a future for myself with goals and dreams. This title is then both a statement representing I will always stand with those near and dear to me, and a reminder that I need to one day figure out where I want to be in life, and work towards that. .

The White Shadow: The White Shadow originated, I think, as a hero/vigilante alias for the Wolf King identity. "A shadow in the night, the White Wolf prowls."

Heir of Dragons Blood: This one ties into my irl bloodline and birth year. Through my paternal lineage, three generations have been Chinese Dragons, and since as long as I can remember I have had a deep love for Dragons (alongside Wolves).

Chaosborn of Purple and Blue: I am Chaos Incarnate! Purple and Blue have been my identifying colors for a while, as kinda my "Magic Aura", in vibe.

Alpha of the Den: The Alpha Wolf. My first major Discord server, the Wolf Den, was a safe space and home to many, and I was its King and Alpha, thus fitting to be here.

Keeper of Keys and Mirrors: Keeper of Keys ties into a possible etymological origin of my name, Kalan. The addition of Mirrors to that name ties back to a prophetic dream that slightly predates the name Kalan, in which I was surrounded by keys and mirrors.

Seeker of Love and Secrets: What can I say? Ever since my life changed when I was 16, I have been a hopeless romantic and a never-ending flirt. No matter whether I'm seeking love for myself or others. Secrets felt right to include somewhere, and it fit nicely here aesthetically.

Bearer of Names and Masks: I always had a funny affinity for names and masks. From personas and alter egos, to characters and aliases, or to literal masks. And together, it sounded quite nice.

The Lone Chronicler: A clear nod to my habit of writing and chronicling large stories and fantasies, but also as a keeper of information, documenting away through the night.

Guardian of the Old Woods: Something more- nature and mystical. I always loved the outdoors, running through the woods, climbing a mountainside, exploring ruins of ancient castles and tombs. Adding the "Old" to the statement adds a level of connection to something more ancient, ancestral, and borderline mythical. The Old Days, the Old Religion. Those are themes recurring in some of my absolute favorite media like my all time favorite: The Inheritance Cycle, as well as BBC's Merlin.

Walker of the Hidden Path: This one is very directy inspired by my love for the Assassin's Creed from- well from Assassin's Creed... In a way, it's one of my absolute favorite game series ever, and more so than my favorite one, has shaped a notable portion of my teen and young adult life, in mentality and vibe. Both Assassin's Creed and this name resonate nicely with the days, weeks, months, and years spent training in the art of movement, and how to move unseen.

Uneerie Voice of Reason: ?.

Touched by Mystery Divine: ?.

Forged of Rage and Radiance: Most people perceive me as calm, collected, and gentle. These are all things I for sure am, but a lot of people don't realize the rougher side of both my life and myself, the tempered wrath beneath, often kept at bay. Thus: Forged of Rage and Radiance.

Beast of the Sun and Moon: One of my self-inserts in my first D&D world was the "Twilight Beast", a moniker I've since re-used once or twice. I didn't want to include Twilight twice, but adding both the Sun and Moon felt natural and right to include.

Wanderer Under the Stars: Oh how often I have gone and taken a walk (or ride) in the middle of the night, wandering around aimlessly. I oft have described myself as a wanderer, and what better way to word it.

Beckoner of the Void: The Void, depression, loneliness, silence, death. Things I have all to much connection with. Do I beckon it, or does it beckon me?

And Reminiscer of the Lost: Maybe one of the most on-the-nose ones here, but still true. I never forget those I lost, be it to death or otherwise. I have never, and probably could never, stop reminiscing about them.